I know what it’s like. I grew up learning that love and the very relationships that should be safe are in fact not. I was a master navigator of the emotional mine field that was my family. And when you grow up learning that love is a mine field, you start to believe that the world is a massive battlefield. I became a highly skilled code breaker. I learned how to read minds and rooms with precision.
The outside world, the authority figures, in this case my parents were all that mattered. My feelings, needs, wants were very, very, very, low priority. Their needs, wants, feelings and dramas were the only ones that mattered. When I came home complaining that I was being bullied at school, the advice from my family was “Just ignore it. And maybe change yourself so people don’t notice you.” In other words, hide your true self. Because your true self is just too much. This is when I started to really understand what life was about, I realized that the bullying, the worst bullying that was going on in my life was at home. Profound criticism of my body, my personality, my entire way of being was the object of either ridicule or something to be hidden, lest it be dismantled by the powers that be.
Be quiet, fit in, shut up, tow the line and basically hide who you really are, because possibly your real self is making someone else jealous, hurt or you are taking away from someone else’s spot light. This messaging nearly destroyed me. I realized one day through the assistance of amazing reading, writing and therapy, that no one was going to save me. I needed to save myself. I needed to disrupt this pattern that had at one time served me as a protector, but now was destroying me. I needed be the hero of my own life. That is why I do the work that I do and write what I write and create the content and programs that I do. I have a hunger to teach others how to disrupt the old family – culture that is being seen as normal but is in actuality, creating deep disharmony within, for so many.
The planet needs us all, now… more that ever to have the bravery to be our true self.
We all need to dig deep and find the vein of courage and inspiration so that we may impact our relationships in healthy and positive ways. We can disrupt multi generational BS that has us tied up in unhealthy ways of being. We can be the heroes of our own lives and the champions of our past generations!